Sign In | Sign Up | Help | Invite    
Advanced Search Ask A Question Community Recent Changes
My:             Contributions   
Contributors
{for ul in pageInfo.page}
${ul.nickName}
{var al = toBreakWord(ul.adUrl,18)} {if ul.adSentence !=''}${ul.adSentence}
{/if} {if ul.adUrl !=''}${al}
{/if}
 
{/for}
Earn Free Advertising   +   Earn Money By Writing What You Know at WISTEME.COM
Question Discussion History

Edit
    Question ID:   8243         Current Version: 1
Question: Why do people tell lies?
Category: Family & Relationships > Friends & Family
Keywords: relationships, tips, communication, tell, white, lies
Type: why
Rating:(3 ratings)    Views: 511    Discussions: 0   In Watch Lists: 1  

 
    Answer:

 

 

Telling the truth, particularly in difficult situations, is a huge challenge for many people. There are as many reasons for telling a lie as there are people in the world and the situations they encounter. In addition, a lie can be what we like to refer to as "a white lie" one that is used to spare someone's feelings and is believed to do no real damage or it can be a lie that is self serving, hurtful and destructive to the relationship or to the persons involved. The "white lie" like the one you tell your friend when you really don't want to watch her children is the one used most often.

WHITE LIES

The main reason we tell "white lies" is because we are not comfortable taking responsibility for our feelings and desires. It is easier to tell our children that we can't afford to take them to a fast food restaurant for lunch than to deal with the hassles of trying to get them to understand that it isn't good for their health. A "white lie" is often used to simplify life for ourselves even if we think we are sparing our friend's feelings. Learning to be assertive and comfortable with our own decisions and choices can go a long way toward eliminating the need to tell any size lie.

ASSERTIVENESS

We are all entitled to do, not do, believe, not believe anything we like. It is our right as individuals to be who we are. We can learn to be tactful but we can also learn that honesty is, in fact, the best policy. Honesty, however, does not mean we have to tell every detail. Good friends will spare their friend's feelings but they will also not lie. For example, if a friend or relative calls you on the phone and you don't feel like talking for whatever reason, it is okay to say, "I know you'd like to talk. I want to talk to you too, but now is not a good time. When can I call you back?" This response is much more loving and affirming of your own needs than saying (if it's not true) "I'm on the way out the door, Johnny is waiting for me, I'll call you later." We don't have to explain why it is not a good time if we are not comfortable doing so. By being assertive we are acknowledging our own needs as well as the needs of the other person and finding a way to meet both.

It can be scary to begin to take responsibility in this way but the more we do it the easier it becomes. We tell lies because we are insecure or afraid of rejection or because we don't want to alienate the person we are lying to. And yet telling a lie, even a small one, can have the very same results. Learning to be assertive can decrease our stress level significantly. There are many assertiveness training programs available both on line and off. You can find more information and evaluative tools on this site: www.mentalhealth.net.

Read more questions from WISTEME through
     Add to MSN Add to My AOL
 Rate this Question
   Add to Groups   Add to Watch Lists   Share Question
                          
 
    More Readings :
[QID:2142]    Top ten tips for building DYNAMITE RELATIONSHIPS  
[QID:1166]    Are there any tips for parents to talk to their son or daughter about sex?  
[QID:3260]    How and when to tell kids about divorce?  
[QID:436]    What are the skills to be a successful foreign-trader?  
[QID:3813]    What do I need to know about Presbycusis?  
[QID:313]    What did the worldwide financial crisis this week mean? Will it affect your financial future or is it just related to sub prime loans and lenders?  
[QID:5751]    Are powdered egg whites pasteurized?  
[QID:1790]    Do white holes exist?  
[QID:5468]    How to soften hardened white sugar?  
[QID:4772]    Do you know the history of the white wedding dress?  
     Question ID:  ${question.id}         Current Version:  ${question.version}

{for qh in questionHistory} {if qh.status == 'r'} {else} {/if} {/for}
Version Contributor Date (ET) Voting
${qh.version} ${qh.nickName} ${qh.date} Rejected
${qh.version} ${qh.nickName} ${qh.date} {if qh.status != 'c'} {if qh.status == 'a'} Approved {else} {if qh.rstatus == 'c'} On-going {else} Pending {/if} {/if} {else}   {/if}
Start a New Topic
ID Topics Replies Latest Post (ET)
{if dlist!=null} {for d in dlist} {/for}
${parseInt(d_index)+1} ${d.sentence} ${d.replyNum} ${d.lastestDate}
{else}
No discussion topic.
{/if}
Label Name:
 
Group Name:
 
 
{else}
     You have no group.
{/if}
Advertisements
{if advertisements.length > 0} {else} {/if}
{for ad in advertisements}
${ad.adTitle}
${ad.adSentence}
${ad.adUrl}
{/for}

Home | About Us | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Browse Questions | RSS Feed

Copyright ©2010 WISTEME LLC. All Rights Reserved.