If you are to be the coordinator, the primary care giver for a senior, it can be a big job! Many of the demands on you could be unscheduled and could disrupt your normal routine. When Uncle Harvey can't make it to Mom's, you'll have to go. If Dad calls you when he falls and sprains his ankle, you'll be the one to take him to the doctor or hospital. If a paid care giver is unsatisfactory or quits, you may have to sleep at your loved one's house until you can find a replacement. Beyond the unexpected, you may also have extensiv eroutine responsibilities. You may need to manage finances or deal with medical, legal, community, or government bureaucracies. It can be a big job. Although, as a family care giver, you may often be under a huge strain, you can do things to ease the pressure.

Balancing Caregiving and Other Responsibilities

Most caregivers juggle work responsibilities as well as two households. It can be especially difficult if your loved one doesn't live near you. Below are somethings to think about as you figure out how to balance these responsibilities.

Your Household. As you plan, implement, and monitor care for your loved one, don't forget to plan for your own household.

• Keep your family informed about your care giving responsibilities and how it may impact them.
• Try to provide your home family with at least a general schedule of your care giving commitments.
• If you find yourself spending a lot of unscheduled or additional time as a caregiver, figure out how you'll fill the gap in your responsibilities (e.g., can your spouse help the children with homework, carpool,etc.)?

Your Job. Ther esponsibilities of care giving can have a significant impact on work obligations, sometimes more than anticipated. Care givers may be concerned that requesting changes to work schedules and obligations can threaten job security. Many times, however, creativity and flexibility on the job are necessary to fulfill caregiver and employee responsibilities.

Employers are finding that the caregiving responsibilitiesof their employees impact productivity in the workplace. An employer might be looking at an average of twenty hours a month in lost time when an employee is a caregiver. Today, an employer may have programs in place to assist employees in caregiving roles. As a caregiver, you may want to research what is available to you in your work place. Some options might be:

• Flex time. You may be able to work part-time or to work longer hours on somedays and shorter hours on others.
• Telecommuting.Your employer may have a program for working from home one or two days a week.
• Employee Assistance Programs. These programs provide information and support for employees. Usually the Human Resources Department can provide information on this.

Finding Time for Yourself

All too often, caregivers focus on everything but their own needs. At any given moment, it may be the kids, the job, the carerecipient, or the family finances. Rarely does a caregiver step back to see how he or she is doing, and all too frequently a caregiver's family and friends forget to ask. As selfish as it may seem, and even as guilty as it may make you feel ,take time for yourself. Caring for you is not beingselfish. The following page lists some important things for you as a care giver to think about.

• Sometimes it's helpful to speak with others in situations similar to yours. You may want to consider a support group either online or in person. As awkward or reluctant as you may feel at first, you will find that most support group participants are experiencing or have experienced many of the emotions and frustrations that you may be feeling. www.caregiver.org provides a link where you may search for both local caregiver support groups and community resources by state, county and zip code.
• Take care of your physical health. Don't ignore physical symptoms such as continual headaches, backaches or stomach pains.
• Your emotional health is as important as your physical health. Give yourself credit for what you are doing. Recognize what you can and can't change and act on what you can.
• Be aware of your diet, and work exercise into your life. Exercise can help reduce stress and ward off depression.
• Set limits and learn to say no - to friends, family and your loved one.
• Don't let yourself become isolated from friends, family and activities that you've always enjoyed. If necessary, let people know that you need them to include you, and not to be put off if you decline an invitation.
• Check with a health care professional or counselor if you have concerns about either your physical or emotional health,or if others are voicing concerns about you.

Taking good care of yourself is important not only for you, but also for your aging loved one.

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